Fermented Rice Punch
I grabbed a can of shyk-keh on my way out of the house this morning. I get to my quaint life-sucking cube and decided to start off my comatose morning with a nice refreshing drink. The taped on english translated label read "Fermented Rice Punch". What the flying crap? That's what I'm eating? No wonder Korean food hasn't been as highly accepted as sushi and general's chicken.
The other asian countries have food called teriyaki chicken, spring rolls, sweet and sour pork, and shrimp fried rice. We have fermented rice punch, fermented bean paste soup, beef tripe (only to be tried at Han Bat) soup, fermented spicy cabbage, and blood sausage. What ever marketing guru decided name our cuisines in such a way should get tied up to a tree with milk-cow intestine lining, smeared in fermented bean paste, beatened with fermented blood sausages, sprinkled with pork feet flakes and served hot over rice punch under the name dumbass food guy.
If I ever walked into a restaurant with these ridiculous names and saw a whole indigenous people eating... savoring this crap, I'd think them utter savages and think of a scheme to capitalize on their monstrousity of an appetite by getting them on Fear Factor. White people have to eat this crap for money, these people pay to eat this crap.
But speaking in a more relazed tone, Christmas is only 11 days away. Odd, it doesn't even feel like Christmas. And what the hell is Christmas suppose to feel like? It used to feel like Christmas when I'd hear the Dong singing his favorite renditions of Mariah's Christmas CD. Where art thou Dong?
The other asian countries have food called teriyaki chicken, spring rolls, sweet and sour pork, and shrimp fried rice. We have fermented rice punch, fermented bean paste soup, beef tripe (only to be tried at Han Bat) soup, fermented spicy cabbage, and blood sausage. What ever marketing guru decided name our cuisines in such a way should get tied up to a tree with milk-cow intestine lining, smeared in fermented bean paste, beatened with fermented blood sausages, sprinkled with pork feet flakes and served hot over rice punch under the name dumbass food guy.
If I ever walked into a restaurant with these ridiculous names and saw a whole indigenous people eating... savoring this crap, I'd think them utter savages and think of a scheme to capitalize on their monstrousity of an appetite by getting them on Fear Factor. White people have to eat this crap for money, these people pay to eat this crap.
But speaking in a more relazed tone, Christmas is only 11 days away. Odd, it doesn't even feel like Christmas. And what the hell is Christmas suppose to feel like? It used to feel like Christmas when I'd hear the Dong singing his favorite renditions of Mariah's Christmas CD. Where art thou Dong?
posted by chongo1201 at 9:00 AM
2 Comments:
Oh Romeo where art thou romeo. here i am chongo. i am singing mariah at the top of my lungs in the bay area. can you hear it? i just want you for my own...more than you could ever know....
hey which loverboy are you talking about in the previous post?
Dude, who the hell would pay to eat rotten red-pepper cabbage that smells like ass?
We Koreans are a strange bunch. But kimchi is what makes our blood red. That's what my mama always say.
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