Fantastic Chongo's

I picked up cutting hair in the fade trends of junior high and have kept up the habit since then. The initial lessons learned were quite painful; dull clippers are extremely painful, pay close attention in avoiding the eyebrows and make sure to check the back of your head after a "friend" cuts your hair to make sure it doesn't have the letters D-O-R-K etched on the back. I eventually learned how to cut my own hair and have been doing it ever since. Based on some reasonable assumptions:

• I would get a haircut once a month.
• Each haircut costs $15.

I've saved myself 108 trips to the barber and about $1,620 in haircuts. Not too bad. I should have made it 109 consecutive trips. Instead, I decided to treat myself to the luxury of getting a professional haircut at Salon 2000. It was the closest one open.

The wait wasn't too bad. The pictures in the styles booklet were hilarious. The shampooing was pretty nice. The lady even shampooed twice and conditioned. I forgot how nice getting a haircut could feel if you're not half naked, balancing my posterior on the bathroom sink, angling my head so i can see what I'm doing. Things were going well. Then the guy started cutting my hair. That's when it feel apart. My head looked like a beaten up porcupine. Strands of hair flaying about my head, advertising my hair damnation. I ended up going home and tried to do what I could.

Looks like I'm going to start over on saving one trip and > $15 and some freaggin dignity.